Different

So the other day I was shopping and was constantly stared at. So of course I began to try and figure out why I was so fascinating to look at to these strangers. Usually I understand when I have on a tank top and shorts because of all my tattoos. Not the case. I had on a T-shirt and jeans. Then onto make-up. Again no luck, 'cause I wasn't wearing any. Then onto how I was acting. Nope, I wasn't hyper active or bouncing off the walls like normal. I was tired and buying food. Then I realized that I was in Scottsdale where everyone had money and I looked a little outta place. The other day boredom got the best of me and I breaded my entire head. Bahama style. So I will admit I looked like a white chick who grew up in the hood and I was located in a preppie rich Scottsdale where most look like models. So I figured they were staring at me because I looked outta place, and yet they don't even know me. Not that I do fit in anyways, but... So this made me think even more. Why do people stare? When someone gets hurt people laugh and stare. A car accident. Someone dressed weird. Someone who doesn't fit in. But why? What causes people to stare? Why is different so intriguing? Why does different draw people's attention?

Is it because they want it? Do they want what you have, but don't know how to get there? The best is when people are behind you and you hear them talking about you. The perfect example of this happened the other day. I was at a different store and this time I was in a tank top. I was looking at the shelf for an item, I grabbed my item and began to turn. When a lady behind me asked me to stand still so she could finish reading my tattoo. I stood there. Then went to stand in the check out line. The couple behind me were again talking about my tattoos and how they looked. I just stood in line thinking... why? Why do people judge? Why do they insist on talking about you when they don't think you are paying attention? Do people really think I am not listening? REALLY???

All this led me to ponder and try to come up with a theory. Here is what I have come up with thus far and if you have any attentional thoughts, let me know.

Different is attractive and since it doesn't fit the "norm" it is intriguing. People want it. Why? Because they don't understand it. They desire change, but don't know how to obtain it. Accidents are intriguing, not only because it is a reminder of how unpredictable life is, but it allows our minds to image what happened? Why it happened? Whose fault was it? Did they get injured? Did they die? Do I know them? All this is stimulating and allows us to for a brief moment leave ourselves and think about something else.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

I DARE you to be different! Stand out!

When we just don't know

Like always I had my music on in the background and a lyric grabbed my attention. So I search. Listen. Rewind. Dwell. And think within those words what the true mean could be. Today's song is called My Brother Jack by Paul Colman.

"We got into the car with the true believers
We could tell they were by the words they spoke
They were talking of Jesus and all He was doing
They were sharing their favs from the Holy Book
And I was with them every step of the way
'Cause I'm a believer saved by grace
And they didn't know it, in the back seat was my brother Jack

We travelled on the 2 hour journey
Singing along to gospel radio
The my brother Jack quite unexpected said
"Do you mind if I listen to my favourite band?"
And maybe it was when the singer let out a word
Four syllables long and not ever heard
In their church circles
That the believers attacked

How could you play music that evil?
How could you speak of someone's mother like that?
Whatever is pure, whatever is holy
We think on these things so here's your record back!
And maybe it was just 'cause we arrived at the place
My fellow believers didn't see his face
But red was the anger all over my brother Jack

Well I pulled them aside just before our performance
And told them the story of my brother Jack
He's not a believer but one who is searching
And I told him that Jesus loves him where he's at
And when I was speaking
Well suddenly I wondered
If we really knew why
Millions of people felt like my brother Jack
They've come to our churches and they're not coming back
Please God save our souls
And my sweet brother Jack

This is an interesting concept to consider. Is this more of a reality than we would like to admit? Could this be applied to other aspects of our lives rather than just our faith. Everyone grows up differently. Have a variety of beliefs. And choose to live their life as they see fit. What if we consider others above ourselves? How much more welcomed would others feel? How would this improve our world? Could it be a global change? Why don't we try? But then we would have to put forth energy. Exist our safe haven. Life life. Scary I know. But here is the truth to all of this.

The human body is pieced together inside the womb. We grow. Are born. Experience childhood. Graduate. Become an adult. Do whatever the adult thing you wanna do. Become old. Die. End of story for the physical body. So if we consider the truth in how temporary this life is and the limited time we have been given. Why don't we do something with that time? Like I dunno, change the world maybe! Why not. It's been done before. A lot of negative influences. Hilter, any war, main stream media, Charles Mason... But some good. Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther... Someone to go down in history for doing something. Changing the way things are. Standing up for what they believed in whether or not it was good in your eyes or not, they are well known for what they did. What is something you in your life that you would be willing to be known for? Recorded in history, for the future generation to read. What would they say about you? Will they even know you existed? Does it matter if they do or not? What if you don't care if anyone knows you? Then I ask you, what is the meaning of life? What is the purpose of living on earth if we aren't suppose to do anything will the talents we are given besides go through the stages of life then die. Honestly that just seems depressing. Conception, birth, growing, adult, elder, death. Um... NO THANK YOU! I would rather do something with my life. Change. Move. Learn. Love. Share. Explore. Improve. Fail. Travel. Grow... What do you want your life to be about? What are you going to do to make that happen? Our biggest dreams are suppose to come true... right? What are you going to do to make sure it happens? How are you going to change the world?

Back to the lyrics.
"My fellow believers didn't see his face
But red was the anger all over my brother Jack"

I wonder what would have happened if the friends had seen Jack's face? Would they have rethought their reactions? Maybe CHANGED to prevent it from happening again? What if they didn't judge him? What if they welcomed him? Put Jack FIRST! Would Jack's life then been impacted? Could the ripple effect come into play? Would Jack then change someone else's life? What if they had at least tried? We will never know because they simply would not get over themselves and consider others' feelings before themselves. SELFISH. INCONSIDERATE. RUDE! They can change this. But they have to decide themselves to make that change. You can change. You can help others. Put them first. Love them. CHANGE! Impact the world. Impact others. I pray that your impact and my own is a positive one. That when people remember how we lived our lives they would be proud, happy, joyful, and see the positive change we caused on those around us.

Make it your own...

A picture is worth a thousand words. What if I only want to use one word? Who can say anything different? I guess they could, but does it matter?. If you consider opinion verses perception in alignment with "the beauty is in the eye of the beholder." It is difficult to say if a picture is anything. I refuse to argue with opinion because the debate will never end since it is all relative. So instead of using word to demonstrate what I have seen in my life I will just show some examples. No words. Just images. You decide. Share if you'd like. Or just look. All I really hope from this post is that you smile at one point or another and realize that photography captures a moment in time that can never be returned to the exact second. Once it passes it is gone forever.

Thank you Ipod shuffle!

So like always I have my music on and I was listening to the awkward/amazing transitions that occur on my ipod when shuffle is in use.

At one point the bass is bumping to Eminem talking about
"See what these kids do is hear about us totin' pistols
And they want to get one cause they think the shit's cool
Not knowin' we really just protectin' ourselves, we entertainers"

Then Hosana by Paul Baloche comes on talking about
"In Your Kingdom broken lives are made new, You make us new
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day"

Then onto The Script, Breakeven:
"I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathin,
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in"

Then to Brand New, Jesus Christ:
"Well, Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die
I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot
Do I float through the ceiling
Do I divide and fall apart
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?"

Before I even start commenting. I realize my music choice is not always "christian" and those who know me already know how much music and lyrics are a part of my life, therefore this post comes as no surprise to you.

Like always there is a specific reason why I chose to select the section of lyrics I did to include and if you are interested the rest you can look them up. As stated above I listen to music almost every waking hour of the day and enjoy a variety as seen in the songs listed. Pretty much the only thing I don't listen to is country. Yeah I am not a fan, but if you then you can listen to it all you want, but it's not for me. Something that struck me was the influence these select bands have on our culture, society, and daily lives. Eminem has very strong/controversial lyrics with good beats. He confronts the reality of our society following what they see on TV or in the media and try to replicate it. Not only to be like "them" but they will also mimic the actions of these "stars." This thought is scary. Think about the influences that we come in contact on a daily basis. How much of those are changing who we are? Change our style of clothing? Wanting something new? Wanting to lose pounds to look like "that," whatever "that" may be. Then we have Paul who states that our lives that we "think" are broken can be made new, and we can face each day with God. This directly contradicts what the "world/society" are telling us. I think The Script hits the nail on the head,

"I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing, just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in."

Our society is so tied up in the image and what they are suppose to be that the focus on what life is has been completely lost. The United States is commonly labeled as a "Christian Nation." However this statement is simply that a statement. There are no actions to follow this. A label means nothing without actions. But when trouble comes, then God is called on, but people don't really know what they are doing. They have just ran out of options and they remember someone once telling them to pray. So they do. It seems like at our deepest moments is when we are desperate enough to find something outsides of ourselves to put our interests in. Why does it take us to this point to recognize God and seek him?

Brand New is a band I listen to a lot. In this particular song they are asking about what will happen when we die? My favorite line is, "And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?" Thomas was one of the twelve disciples that followed Jesus around during his years of ministry. When Jesus died on the cross his body was laid in a tomb. A couple of the disciples said they saw Jesus after three days and told the other disciples what had happened. Thomas was among them and did not believe them. He wanted proof. He wanted to stick his hands in the nail holes before he believed that Jesus was alive again. The reason I like this lyrics so much is because I think about doubt. Is Thomas going to be standing at the gates asking to see the proof that I have done what I said I have done and question how I lived my life?

What if our society's image of "cool" or "who we want to be" was Jesus?

Light in the darkness

It is strange the things we realize while driving by ourselves. So like usual I was on an adventure and had no destination besides avoiding anyone. I headed out of town and took old route 66. I know strange to think this small road use to be the main highway. So weird! I just happened to have my mountain bike on top of my car and conveniently camping gear in my trunk. So I set out to find a sweet trail and somewhere to camp. As the drive began there were a lot of developed roads closed off because of the recent winter season and the one that were open were not developed and had no markings. I know creepy right! So I picked a random turn off and took my non-off-roading Camry on the non-existent road. Lets just say the vehicle isn't exactly what you would call capable of this type of "road." However, I was determined to find a sweet camping spot completely by myself. My curiousity swept over me and I decided to drive until the "road" ended. Along the way I discovered a small water hole which was completely random and beautiful. So like any other person naturally I stopped to take pictures! "Damn tourists!" I returned to my car and continued. I don't know if what I found would be considered such an ending, but there was barbed wire so I decided not to cross. Well at least not in my vehicle considering this barbed wire was on the "road." I continued walking until I reached the "summit" and tried to figure out where I was. Yeah, useless! I returned to my car then turned around. I eventually made it back to old route 66 and continued down the road towards somewhere. Again another "trail" sparked my interest and I decided to adventure down it. Trailhead 088. Whatever that means! And once again my vehicle was not up to standards to fight against the inclines and muddy terrain. But I drove it anyways! I did hit a particular area where I was sliding so much on the snow up an incline that I decided to turn around. On my way back the sun was setting and I set up camp. No one in sight and likely no one would ever come down this road. I started a fire and put together my tent. Darkness swept over the land and nothing but the fire could be seen. Naturally I had hot dogs in the cooler in my trunk along with my camping seat. I set it up and ate a few hot dogs. With the sun vanished and the moon rising the temperature began to drop. And drop fast! I did not have the proper gear to stay warm so I packed up and headed back into town. I called up a friend and crashed on their floor. I woke up and ended up with a parking ticket and a sense of an unfinished adventure. I decided to drive to Sedona and hit up some mountain bike trails. Again middle of nowhere on my bike enjoying the beauty surrounding me. I finished the trail and headed back into town. In the wee hours of the morning I decided to drive home of course after a 2am Ihop breakfast with friends. No we were not drunk! On my drive home I was hoping for the clouds to clear so I could gaze at the stars. Unfortunately the entire drive the stars were covered up by clouds, however the moon was shinning brightly. This brings me to the point of this entire entry. Being the light in the darkness. During this time of day no one is on the roads besides the occasional trucker and of course me. There are no lights besides the headlights of fellow drivers and the moon. This next part I know is no safe and should never ever ever be done, however I just had to. On the drive I briefly turned off all lights in my car including my headlights. And for that moment the only light visible was the moon. The craziest thing was I could see perfectly by only using the light from the moon. There was no escaping it. No where to hide. Absolutely unavailable! I guess there were things I could have done, like gone into a cave, shut my eyes, or gone into some sort of structure. But I didn't. I was driving. The darkness couldn't hide from the light of the moon. This reminds me of a story most of us are remotely familiar with. These are found in these verses:

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16

The light projected from the moon could not be hidden from. Everything was bring touched by it. You could see perfectly if you weren't distracted from light from another source. I believe this is often difficult to apply in our daily lives because of distractions. We can see the moon and the effects of it, but we are distracted by the person to our right with their flashlight on. They are distracting us, trying to steal the glory of the moon, trying but failing to gain any significant glory. We only want to yell at them to turn off their flashlight and enjoy the beauty of the moon and stop shining their false light in your eyes. Next we have Mark....

"And he said to them, "Is a lamp brought in to be put under a basket, or under a bed, and not on a stand? For nothing is hidden except to be made manifest; nor is anything secret except to come to light. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear." And he said to them, "Pay attention to what you hear: with the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and still more will be added to you. For to the one who has, more will be given, and from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away."" Mark 4: 21-23

Such simple truth and yet we can't seem to follow any direction. The truth is the moon shinning is completely out of our control. We cannot tell it to move this way or that. It will simply shine regardless of what we do. Putting it under a basket or bed is impossible! Nothing is hidden, even the darkness is exposed. It is even worth attempting to hide then? And last we have Luke, a physician;

"No one after lighting a lamp puts it in a cellar or under a basket, but on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light." Luke 11:33-36

I personal like to read Luke, basically because he was into medicine and so am I. His writing speaks truth to me and I completely understand what he is talking about. Seeing the light from the moon and being able to see how much it shines in pure darkness it beyond words. The light literally cannot be contained and exposes everything in the dark. I love how Luke uses the analogy of your eye being health then the entire body is filled with light. This is such an amazing image. To think that your body is fueled by visible influences and that determines how you are doing as a whole. I want to be at the point where I see the light shinning from the moon and allow that to uncover any darkness that tries to threaten me.

Never-the-less, the drive home was amazing even if it was at 0300 and I was completely by myself. Because in reality I was not alone, God's light was shinning through the moon and lighting my path even when I decided to not be intelligent and turn off my headlights while driving. When you feel like you are surrounded completely with darkness, find out what flashlight is distracting you from the ultimate light.

new but OLD.

Ever since we were children we are told stories. Some true, others fairy tales. I myself would rather hear about the true ones, on the contrary I would rather tell the fairy tales. I was reading a story today and it will be up to you to determine if you think it is true or not. Some of the ideas below are related to the book Sex God written by Rob Bell on pages 80-84, please read to identify common ideas. The verse that is of particular interest is found in Ephesians 4:28.

"Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. "

If we take this idea of stealing into consideration there are different aspects that attract people to do so. Usually, but not always stealing begins because there is a desire to have something, but not having a legal way of obtaining it. For example a family has no money and is hungry, so a family member steals a loaf of bread. While this even is occurring there are different aspects that are experienced by this individual. First, decide that this action must take place. Second, develop a plan. Third, involve the necessary people. Fourth, set up the event. Fifth, carry it out. During step five, the action process, this individual is experiencing of an adrenaline rush. Six, reap the benefits.

Paul is the writer of Ephesians and he is writing to the saints of Ephesus. He is telling a thief not to steal, not go through any of the steps above, and to replace all of them with a job. Why would a thief do this? They don't have to work and eventually if they become good enough they can make a great living stealing what others have worked so hard to obtain. Where would their motivation to stop come from? Punishment? Being caught? Morals? Paul is calling for these individuals to stop their dishonest trade for an honest one. This not only seems ridiculous, but also not very practical.

If we continue to read this request it becomes even more unlikely to occur. Stop stealing. Get a job. Now help someone else. Really Paul? Yes! And what is even more interesting is "doing an honest work with his own hands." Why does Paul point this out? He points this out because it is HUGE! Think about how many thing you do with you hands. Some good, others bad. However there is always the potential for good. Doing bad things using your hands usually does not result with a good outcome.

For example, a father who hits their child. The father may gain a sense of having power, while the child is not only physically harmed, but made to feel inadequate. This is an extreme example, however it paints a clear image of the effects of choosing to do bad with your hands. An example of good, as a young child you are at play the majority of the time. Accidents often happen during this time frame and injuries are a result. The child begins to cry. Their parent's adrenaline level raises wondering what is wrong. The child will run to their parents arms for comfort and healing. They need their parents to care for them. The mother or father sweeps the children into their arms and kisses the scraped knee and the child finds comfort. Then runs off again.

Both examples used involve children and their interaction with parents. Children do not hide their emotions. In this we can learn a lot from them, but only if we pay close attention. The child from the first situation is suffering to make their father feel good. In order for the father to accomplish his desire, he sees it fit to abuse his child. If you were to approach this parent and tell him to hug his child instead, what do you think his response would be? Would it change after he knew the effects it was having on his child? What if the father received the help he needed? Could he then change his behavior? What would it take for the father to stop? In relation to the verse, Paul asks for this father not only to stop abusing his child, but also to change his habit to benefit his child.


Jumping back to the example of the child who scraped their knee and went to their parent for comfort. The child is at play. This is natural. The parent's greet their child with open arms. The child receives comfort and continues their play. Both the child and the parent have benefited from the situation. The child received the comfort and love they long for, while the parent feels useful and productive. One child walks away harmed, the other healed.

Paul, makes this point clear using jobs as an example. Identifying similar characteristic with children can help us to see these problems in our own lives. As a thief there is a specific adrenaline rush, alongside the need for something that is a driving force. As a child the need and desire for love which often directs their actions even if the child is completely unaware of this. Verse 28 tells us to stop stealing, find a job, do something useful with our hands, replace stealing with helping others. Ultimately it is asking us to stop being selfish and help those in need. Replace a bad adrenaline rush with a good one. Replacement is KEY! Another thing that is clear in this verse is to stop something, but to REPLACE it with something else. It is extremely difficult be use to an adrenaline rush, but when there is nothing then what? Where does the thrill come from? That is not what Paul is saying to us. We need to figure out where our six steps are taking us, and what is giving us our rush. What is fulfilling our desires? These desires should be that of the parent who opens their arms and shares their love to their child. Both individuals involved benefit from the situation. It is helpful. Satisfying. An adrenaline rush. Finding what drives your soul and being present to experience it. BE PRESENT. Replace the bad with GOOD.

The Beauty Within

So this past weekend I went on a woman's retreat at Lost Canyon Younglife camp. I wasn't expecting to get much out of the weekend because of past experiences at various retreats and the cold shoulder I often receive for being different. Of course with this attitude God decided to intervene and change me. On the second day we were given just over 2 hours to participate in prayer stations and spend time with God. I have to admit I did not participate in any of the offered areas and didn't want to be around anyone. Instead I grabbed my journal and Ipod and headed off camp to hike a near by mountain.
I have been up at Lost Canyon countless times and always see this mountain that is always taunting me to climb it. And every time I come up with an excuse. But not this time. I treked through the mud from the melted snow, then had to figure out how Ugg boots were going to grip on snow/ice.


After I few slip ups I figured out it was going to take a lot more concentration on where I place my next step then is I had on proper equipment. As the hike progressed the climb became extremely more technical. Mapping out my every move to avoid falling off the boulders and causing an avalanch. As I gained in elevation there was an increase in the amount of snow and the depth at which the ground was located underneath it.

At this point in the hike I have realized now that my boots have zero traction, my jeans are soaked, I should have brought climbing gear, spikes would have become in extremely handle, and I could easily run into trouble fast if I wasn't careful. Walking turned into bouldering which then turned into falling up to my waist through snow. Every step was a potential hazard. I feel through and the snow came up to my waist. Using a near-by tree I had to pull myself out, while being careful not to lose my boot or fall in deeper. After pulling myself out I emptied my boots of snow and decided to gradually gain altitude by slightly angling my path instead of going straight up the mountain. After a few more snow mishaps I eventually reached the summit and found a place to sit and journal.

After removing my boots and attempting to dry out my jeans I decided to disconnect from everything and turned off my ipod. The view was magnificant and beautiful beyond words. I sat in awe as I began to realize that God created everything, including myself. The breeze was cold and the wind picked up. I continued to sit in silence and observe the beauty God has created for us to live in.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 1:27

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. Genesis 1:31

God created everything that I was able to see. He created me. I am made in his image. He sees me and says I am good. The beauty I see in God's creation of the earth is what He sees in me. Such a simple concept, yet we miss it daily. God loves us, He created us exactly as He saw fit, and He is pleased in us. Not because of anything we have done or can do, but simply because He created us and loves us.

It was getting cold sitting at the summit with no shoes on. So I put my still wet boots on and hiked down into an area sheltered by rocks from the wind. The wind was picking up and I could hear it through the trees. To the right was a forest of healthy trees. To my left was a 30 ft tree that was dead and ready to fall over.
The wind passed through the forest and the alone dead tree equally. Making noise and causing movement. This reminds me of the Holy Spirit. Although we cannot see the Spirit we can feel it, are moved by it, and can see the effects of it. The trees on my right were a live and were beautiful to look at, while the one tree by itself on my left had nothing left to offer. All the leaves had fallen off, it provided little shade, and was ready to fall down. Despite all of these things the wind still made noise and caused movement.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

As we would consider this tree dead and useless, it is beautiful and useful to God. Although we are like this single tree and can't do anything helpful on our own and people look at us as going nowhere. God sees us completely different and will use us anyways. The world views us one way and God insists on using us and declares us as good in another way. Our beauty and purpose are defined by our creator and He just happens to be The Creator. He made it all and saw that it was good.

Truths:
We are made in God's image.
He created the world.
He saw that the world and we were good.
He sends his Holy Spirit into our lives to guide us.
Although we cannot see the spirit we can see its effects.
We cannot see wind. We can see the effects.
Something that is dead, can still be useful.
Although we mess up and are dead, God fills us with His Spirit and makes us whole again.

Starbucks

Just some numbers:
Tall Mocha: $3.30
Tall Iced Caramel Macchiato $2.80
Frappé $4.15

According to starbucks marketing, 25,000,000 per week consuming starbucks.
Multiply that by 52 weeks in a year.
Equals 2,744,000,000

On average the typical starbucks drinker consumes 4 beverages a week.
Lets say they choose to get a Venti Iced Carmel Macchiato each time, at $ 3.80 each.
So per week this example consumers is spending $15.20 per week.
Time 52 weeks.
$790.40 is spent per year.

Lets compared this information to the typical person who donates to any organization to help others.

In America 83% of adults claim to be donating every year. Although all those donations combined at up to $1,220 in one year.

The average starbucks drinking spends more in two weeks ($1580.80) than 83% of Americans in a year ($1,220). I don't know about anyone else, but these seems outrageous to me.

To compare all this to something that can actually be done.

In Ghana, Africa is costs approximately $66 per year to feed a child three meals every day.


Starving child in Africa ($66) average starbucks consumer yearly ($790.40). Interesting...

A day like today

Where do we get the motivation to do anything with our lives? Why are some people more ambitious than others? What is pushing those people? I want whatever it is. Not for the moment. Not for the day. But for my life. How can I obtain this? Where do I start? Someone once told me that if you can't see a blessing then you aren't looking. Am I blind to how to live a meaningful life? When it comes to the day and what it holds, it really is only last 24 hours long. Then it is gone. Never to return again. Once a moments has past it is gone forever. Why then do we insist on defining ourselves on what was or who we were. Instead we need to focus on the here and now. How are we going to change this moment, this time, and this day? You never know when it will be your last.

Throughout my life there has been a common theme I haven't been able to forget and don't think I want to. This is that; yesterday existed, today is here, and tomorrow is not promised. Who is to say that today couldn't or wont be my last day. The future is truly unknown. It really is someone's best guess, and yet, we fall short and honestly don't have a clue what it actually looks like.

What if we did know our future, every step, and what will happen later? Does this take away free will? Frankly I don't want to know, because then the experience of living life is completely taken away. If someone told me I was going to own my own business, have an amazing family, and wouldn't have to worry about anything in life. Why would I try anymore if this was already determined? Would you try if everything was already going to be handed to you? Boring! I don't want that, and refuse to accept a predestined future. I would rather leave it unknown, a blank slate in which my creativity can take over.

God knew this at the beginning when He created us. He didn't want to create robots that did everything He wanted, when He wanted. Where is the good in that? God knew that without free choice, then humans are nothing but under His control. Does a robot love it's creator? Does a robot have fun? Explore? Learn? Create? Have relationships? Does a robot have anything that is not forced? A robot will not love in return unless that master tells it to. Is this the love the master wants? Forced, conditional, and fake? No! No one truly wants to force others to love them, if they do then they are deeply confused on what love is, and even when they have forced others to love them, they are never satisfied. They insist and keep forcing others to love them in an endless cycle that will always result in loathing of self.

An example of this is found with an abuse situation in a relationship. One partner needs and desires the love of the other, and does anything to obtain it. The other partner will give the "love" out of fear of abuse and both are never really getting what they truly desire. Love. True, pure, unconditional love that every human is searching for and always striving to find. The only time we will find this is from God. He loves us! Not because of anything we have done! Nothing we can earn! He loves us because He created us and saw that it was good.

"And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good." Genesis 1:31

This idea challenges me to live in the moment, the day, and see it as a blessing. I have discovered this a motivation to receive what I have been given and to live in love. I am loved. You are loved. We are loved. What else could motivate us more to live?

What is means to live

So the other day I was asked, what does it means to live life? Interesting concept. My definition of living life, is that you end the day with no regrets and with complete satisfaction. This looks different for every individual and can be defined based upon perspective. As far as my own life and what I do to accomplish living life on a daily basis. I really have no idea. I love to live, but really to define that, there are no words.

So an example will have to do. In order for me to begin the day properly I prefer not to wake up before 11am and preferably to good music. Change my clothing to an equally comfortable outfit as my PJs, then decide what to do. This almost always consists of some outdoor or something that results with an adrenaline rush. I have learned over the years to approach every extreme activity with a certain amount of caution as well as safety equipment. I grab the necessary safe items, ipod, camelbak, and anything else needed. Head out to the mountain where I blast whatever music I am in the mood for. Then arrive at the necessary destination and begin the journey. Whatever that journey looks like at that particular time. There is a specific rush that is obtained when setting off on a hike with nothing but the music you love and nature all around you or to accomplish the summit and observe the earth from a bird's eye view. Or even riding a bike, challenging yourself with every move, and believing that the next turn or jump will not cause physical harm, all the meanwhile feeding off the unknown and striving for the end, whatever "the end" looks like at that moment.

Honestly thinking about it, I am never thinking about the end except at the beginning. Why is this? Why am I am able to lose myself in the middle, but know the start and the finish at the beginning. However not worrying about it in the middle? The freedom that comes in the middle of an adventure as you lose yourself in the activity and no longer worry about anything except your next move. No longer focusing on the past or the future, but fully living in the present, in that specific moment. I believe this is the definition of living life as defined by me. Living in the moment with no regard to what has happened or what will happen, but enjoying the breath you are given here and now. And somehow knowing that the breath exiting your lungs was a gift given to you to enjoy for that moment and everything you have ever known can change in a moment as you breath your last breath.